Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Motherhood and being Cultured!

5 Nov

        

This post is dedicated to the one year Blogiversary of one of the most happening parenting communities, World Moms Blog.

I was asked to write about Motherhood relating to our Indian culture and link up with the World Moms Blog . In India I would say there are at at least 50 different cultures for every aspect. And the same and more apply to motherhood. Having said that, this post has nothing to do with any of the  specific 50 different cultures of India.

For me motherhood simply means worshipping my mother’s motherhood. I should say I have not much vocally appreciated her as much as I should be not only for bringing me up, but doing everything else and more for my son, her grandson.

Motherhood

Sculpture - "Motherhood" at St.Anne convent in northern Kentucky.

This is where it began. When I was pregnant I contacted Hepatitis-A, a viral infection and was down with jaundice. It was not specifically life threatening or problematic for the baby in womb (because of the placental barrier), but we all were so stressed mentally and emotionally. This was approximately during the 22nd week. I was working 12 hours a day, designing the supposedly love of my life, car electronics. During that period I was living, 350 miles away from home.

The gynecologist and gastroentrologist advised complete bed rest until the day of delivery. I was very upset hearing this. I pleaded, I coaxed, that I work at least after a month’s rest. I was feeling completely fit and fine. But for whatever reasons God chose, I was back at my parents’ home relaxing and enjoying all the remaining 5 to 6 months of pregnancy. I was eating home cooked food by the world’s greatest cook (mom), being pampered and cared and just plain killing time reading books, researching pregnancy and stuff over the internet. The DDH used to visit me over the weekends at my parents’ place. [**I have not really thanked him enough for letting me stay on at my parents’ place indefinitely**]. And life was benevolent indeed.  

And then, one fine day I delivered a healthy happy crying baby boy and all was fine again in this mama’s world.

And I went back to work when DDS was 6 months old.

No day care, said the DDH. No nannies. No nothing. I was devastated. Apparently the DDH was a great fan of attachment parenting, and well, neither did I have the heart to send him to a day care to strangers. I mean, yes, I know there are so many wonderful care centers and I am not being judgmental. Having said that, I just felt I needed my little boy to be with people he knew, he was biologically related to.

So, super woman aka my mom, aka my son’s grand mom stepped in to the rescue. She traveled 350 miles away from her home, stayed with us, away from her husband and her son and took care of DDS while I worked away ‘happily’ at the car electronics typing away software codes for the automatic power steering.

Now, my dad visited us during the weekend to be with his wife, my mom and with all of us, his family. And oh, my brother sacrificed being with his mom too, because he was just entering college, and needed her emotional support. But the neediest was the baby, so my mom devoted her entire time, energy and thoughts to baby. We stayed in this arrangement for at least 5 years when we decided I would quit work because mom had to go back home, for her own personal reasons.

But the point is, my mom put up with a 25-year-old, grown up, pregnant, moody, lazy, physically unwell woman (me) for half a year, an ignorant mom (me) for another half-year and then she stayed away from her family, her husband and her son for 5 full years. I can not really thank my father and brother enough for letting me have her fully. She did all this for her grandson. Her idea of motherhood which can not be defined in any words except by retelling this story is just my idea of motherhood.

Culture is also refinement, culture is also being civilized, culture, my father always says, is doing what is best and correct for the moment and living life the way, God would later say, Ah, I am proud of you, my child. Isnt that how culture must have evolved in any society?

So, I am blessed to have parents who are cultured and who tried their best to imbibe that in my brother and me.

And this post celebrates that woman, who is the best mother in the whole world.

Some day, I hope my son says that too.

 

This article is part of the World Moms Blog Link-up

This article is part of the World Moms Blog Link-up

Go ahead, click the above button and view all posts written by mothers all around the globe participating in the World Moms Blog link up! I encourage the reader to also participate by writing your own post under the topic, “Motherhood, culture and myself” and show your support for the most celebrated feeling, “motherhood” by ‘liking’ and commenting on my and all posts.

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Meeting virtual friends in reality

12 Oct

When I became pregnant five years ago, I explored the internet for resources to read, signed up in many websites for newsletters regarding healthy pregnancy and healthy baby, read and re-read the weekly embryo developments, checked out the exercises, diets and basically had more information in me than about being pregnant than any data warehousing site could have.

I also joined a community called www.babyfit.com. It was an amazing website. I met many pregnant woman there who posted their views, questions, shared their opinions and basically supported each other during those precious 40 weeks of the most wonderful time in a woman’s life. One such woman was Lady M. She was from India too like me. And we shared so many things. Our joys, our worries, our sorrows, our life, our work, we started sharing many other things than just pregnancy and baby stuff over E-Mail. But she was a person I met over the internet. We did not make any dates to meet up. After all, we both had families, duties, and life and work and no one even thought of meeting. We were like each other’s diaries. And moreover we knew the perils of meeting online friends in reality.

So, life went on for a few years. Then we thought we should check out each other’s voices. So, we wished each other on birthdays, anniversaries, kids’ birthdays, etc. And slowly the phone calls minimized, the E Mails minimized too, with just a note here and there saying, “hey, you missed my kid’s birthday” and , “oops, I am so sorry”. And things shriveled up to shorter text messages too at a certain stage.

Life just got too hectic. There was work pressure, our own careers, work-life balance, kids, home and well, we just got too busy. But we remembered each other and followed up each other well with regular pic updates and generallife updates.

I received a phone call once, “We are planning to come down to Chennai from Bangalore, maybe we can try to meet”. I was excited. At last, we were going to meet up with each other. When I shared this exciting feeling with another friend, she said, “Are you sure you want to meet her? You know, it is not really safe to meet someone you know in the virtual world. What if she turns out to be a trickster? What if your safety is at peril”?

You know, sometimes, you have to follow your heart without any second thoughts and I am happy I did that, that day. With some people, you know it is the right decision. One should listen for the signs.

She has two sons, one is DDS’s age, the other a bit younger. The kids had an awesome evening, playing, fighting, making up, playing again, chatting, complaining, and generally having fun. M, her husband, my husband,my mom and I too had a very interesting evening. We were glad we all met finally.

And when they were all leaving, the sudden realisation hit me that I was meeting them for the first time, but the way the evening went, it felt like old friends meeting up after a long time and generally having so much of catching up to do. There were no initial apprehensions, confusions on what to speak and what to not, kids bonding with each other or not? Well, there was absolutely no time to think or act, it was just a blur which zoomed away so soon. I am glad the day happened 🙂

We spent about four hours or less, but it felt like hardly an hour, Einstein rightly said about relativity being, “Five minutes in the company you like, but an hour in the company you don’t for the same short span of time”.

So, I have shared a few pics we took on the day.

Sharing a private moment

Sharing a private moment

Something beckons us...

Something beckons us...

Best friends forever

Best friends forever

We are good boys

We are good boys

Have you had any such experiences of meeting virtual friends in reality and feeling like old friends meeting up after a long time? Have you felt sometime that certain friendships like these are too precious? Felt that you meet certain people in strange ways and feel like you were destined to know them? And felt at random odd moments that life is benevolent?

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