Tag Archives: Humor

If the world were to end tomorrow…

15 Dec

If the world were to end tomorrow … come on, the world is not going to end …

But in the remote chances that this were my last day … I would be very happy…  because …

The laundry yet to be folded and stashed away!

The laundry yet to be folded and stashed away!

I don’t have to cook, clean or do the laundry. Since recently, somehow I always seem to be laundering. I put the clothes in the machine, take them out, fold them, keep them inside and the  cycle repeats. I don’t know how I got into this vicious cycle of laundering repeatedly. And I am not even a new mom. So, good riddance to laundry, oh how I wish…. Check that pile I still have to fold and put away!

Is the space in the sink enough?

Is the space in the sink enough?

And you guys all know my apathy towards cooking. Ok, I made it public and now you all know it, if you didn’t earlier. But I am a dutiful wife, or at least I think so. And for the records, my husband is snickering at that statement. Ah, so, well, cooking – the famous sustenance which makes me stay alive. Well, eating makes you stay alive. But for that, someone has to cook, right?! And a stay-at-home mom cannot claim to not have time to cook, can she? If only, the world ends tomorrow, I can be rid of this chore! Hmmpphh!!! Oh well, if someone cooks for me at least once a month, I will take up cooking. And by someone cooking for me, I don’t mean eating out. I mean, someone cooking (read it as husband) once a month(only once in 30 days). Is it too much to ask? I know… I know… All those hubbies reading this, are going to say, ‘what a bad influence for my wife’!!! I did not even mention cleaning up the dirty dishes!! The picture suffices.

Toys (aka junk) which could be dumped in various cartons and ideally banned from a sensible household.

Toys (aka junk) which could be dumped in various cartons but ideally is supposed to be banned from a sensible household.

And then after good riddance from laundering and cooking, I would also like some respite from cleaning and tidying up the house forever. I don’t think this needs any explanation at all. Does anyone want to see how my son’s room look like? Do you think my frail body can survive another attempt at tidying up and decluttering???

lol!!! serves us right, to get freaked out for everything..!!!

lol!!! serves us right, to get freaked out for everything..!!!

I cannot imagine the world coming to an end, because I want my son to grow up, live his life, do something with it, find its purpose, have a goal, work towards it, have a family, be happy, have children of his own and generally enjoy and be in joy. He needs to find his zest for life. This alive existence would all be a waste, if not. I would want him to be happy and jolly and whatever else he wants to be. Can the world end without he experiencing his existence? Nay!

I have more pressing problems! I have to create enough room in my cluttered home, for 3 bodies to move, habitate and hibernate without getting hurt !!!

I have more pressing problems! I have to create enough room in my cluttered home, for 3 bodies to move, habitate and hibernate without getting hurt !!!

Well, I really don’t think the world is going to end tomorrow, because God, if he were a male God, would not be so kind to give a woman respite from so many of the above mentioned things. The male-God would want my inner domestic goddess to rise forth and shine and be the goddess she was meant to be. And God, if she is a woman, will not be so hard-hearted to end the world as well, without a mother realising her dreams of her son’s purposeful and happy and joyful existence.

So, coming to the end of this world, … err… the end of this post… If at all the world ends tomorrow, I don’t have to do anything. Oh, how much an over-worked, stressed out mother would understand that! My inner domestic goddess can just vegetate! Ahhh!

This is part of a link-up. Today World Moms at World Moms Blog are talking about what they would do in case the world ended tomorrow. Come, check it out!



Insults and handling them

30 Jul

insults [default recourse of the ignorant]

insults [default recourse of the ignorant] (Photo credit: the|G|™)

Insults are a result of inferiority complex? Or insecurity? Or pure vengeance as in evil-minded? Or a combination of all the above? In any case, nowadays, I think it is funny that people are insulting, throwing barbs and generally trying to belittle people.

I was a victim of this in recent times. It was sheer fun. Five years ago, this was pure madness. I would always fume and vent out and spoil DDH’s and my alone our-time. Well, what was it worth for? And we were pretty newlyweds too. Sheer waste of fun-time, huh?! Well, not anymore, I think so.

Five years ago someone told this – “Your hairstyle sucks.”

And I think, “What the H€77? It is my hair and I love it this way.” And then I go and complain to DDH and shout and cry and give him a taste of my H€77 too.

Now today, when the same person says something like this, I think, “Hey, oldie, you have either greys or you are bald. And you are jealous of me.”

And I laugh about it along with DDH.

Have I matured? Is our relationship richer? Or are we just beyond caring for such insignificant remarks?

Ok, some of my readers who are close friends must have guessed whom I talking about. But well, what the heck, I am chronicling it anyway.

So, this got me wondering. What do people get out of such insignificant comments? Are they insecure? Or do they feel inferior compared to me and my luscious long mane? Or is it just pure hatred spawning from well… I don’t know, spawning from hatred.

But I cannot hate someone like that. Maybe I don’t love them all, but I definitely don’t think I hate someone to this extent.

So how have you handled insults? What goes on in your mind? How have you evolved beyond it?

To you all, my readers who have borne insults and been patient with people who have hurled them.

2012: My blogging predictions!

31 Dec

English: Mayan calendar created by a modern cr...

Mayan Calendar

Now, that the world is going to end on 21st Dec 2012 as per the Mayan Calendar (*I seriously don’t think so! We Homo sapiens, can’t be let off so easily, huh!*), I am going to come up with predictions of my own too, at least my personal blog-post predictions? You want the truth? Check out the things in parentheses… lol!

Jan 1st: I write my first post of the year applauding my handsome DH of staying home all day with me and DS. (*** Huh?! I wish…!! Surely an emergency lung diseased person is going to get admitted and DH is going to rush to the E&R – joys of being a happy homemaker with a physician husband at critical care ***)

Jan 10th: I sign up for something as silly as postaday2012 and write ferociously just about every day and win an award from WordPress to have kept up my resolutions. (*** If only wishes had wings and hopes had brooms. I don’t long to keep up with my writing resolutions, because I don’t long for things I won’t/can’t get anyway. The grapes are sour. ***)

Jan 20th: I start realising that writing every day does not matter, only writing matters and I write a nice longpost about the perils of emptying your creativity in everyday writing (*** see, didn’t I tell you??? You saw it coming after all, didn’t you? ***)

Feb 5th: I write extolling what a wonderful man DH is and get him a wonderful gift for his birthday and write about the joys of being a wife to such a loving person. (*** Did your read this post? I promised myself I would never ever do this kind of thing ever in my/his entire longest life. Want to know why? Huh, who cares? Right! The world is ending on 21st Dec anyway. ***)

March 3rd: 6 years of parental journey! Can it ever get better? Being a mother is joyful. It is bliss. Parenting books help. I bring up the best boy in town. I write all about my fortune of being the best mother to the best child. (*** Seriously, you want to know why I decided I have had my one, and done with parenting? But, well, yes, life is indeed benevolent with everything happening around, so, happy birthday DS 🙂  ***)

March 25th: Summer is a wonderful time and I am waiting for DS’s holidays to begin so that we sign up for those wonderful interesting classes and fun activities and summer clubs and camps and such. It’s all going to be exciting, trust me! Post about fun and merriment and excitement! (*** All mothers of toddlers and young boys, out there, you know the perils of staying at home with one, all day who expends all your energies and creativity. In having to entertain and keep a young boy happy for 24 hours a day for 2 months what all a mother does!!! I know, I feel your compassion from the opposite side of the word! Trust me, I do! How can the world end when so soon? Come on, we mothers have a lot more karma to expel! ***)

April 27th: That post about life being beautiful, life being benevolent, and a pic about the evening sky with the setting sun from my terrace, roof top pics and such. (*** Look at how the posts are getting wider apart! Oh yes, it is summer holidays and I have no time to check FB or WP, but having a grinding… err loving time with my son full day at home! ***)

May 18th: Happy birthday to me! I am a year younger, not older, post! happy sunshine post! My birthday gives me joy and happiness post! la la la! (*** Who cares, I am beyond it. Seriously, you never find time or interest anyway. You wish for, maybe! But no, you do not get your favourite fuchsia coloured Dell laptop or that sleek solitaire ear drops! I have decided to stop dropping hints like this anyway for DH to read and ‘surprise’ me! Life is beyond sucking too anyway! ***)

June 15th: A post explaining school reopened for DS. How I miss him. How I have nothing to do at home and the place looks empty. (*** Seriously, ‘now I got a breather’ post is more in the way! And DH saying how he never gets to spend time with his darling little boy and I get to hog away all of DS’s attention and time. Seriously, come on, I welcome you to share the work load of bringing up an intelligent, tech-savvy, young boy all by yourself! ***)

July 15th: Art, craft, project work post, learning nowadays is fun at school! Lucky DS! (*** Know something, I hate this kind of work load! On top of cooking, cleaning, home making, tolerating a DH who is hardly at home at all, I have to work late into the night getting up DS’s school project work ready. I have to come up with ideas all by myself from the internet, from my own nook and cranny of the ‘vast’ convolutions of the grey and white matter within the skull and build it up. Ooofff!!! But I write a beautiful post about how interesting it was to make the project, take cute pics and put it up!!! Oh man! Seriously!!! We all need to be a bit more honest writing posts for popularity. hmmpphh! ***)

August 25th: Indian Independence day just went by 10 days ago! ‘We did this and that’ post! (*** translates to nothing to report basically in my dull, drab boring saga called life. ***)

September 30th: Whatever post! I need to satiate my reader list! Really! (*** Notice the posts going wide and apart to each other? Was I the one who signed up for postaday2012 crap and Plinky stuff? You bet!!! I am full of inspirations and motivations!!! And LAZINESS!!! ***)

I hibernate in October. Its official!! I need a break too! And autumn is the best time to vegetate!

November 1st: Home making post of de-cluttering, decorating, rejuvenating the spirit of homeliness! November is Diwali time in india and with it, visitors arrive, hence a cleaning up post! (*** Home makers are seriously the most underpaid, most under appreciated lot of the working community! They sacrifice their whole life for something which has no returns, really!!! Did I quit my high paying, glamorous programming white-collar job to scrub the kitchen tiles twenty times a week? ***)

December whatever: I am way beyond caring! Surely a ‘the world ends now’ post! Was that 21st? Heck! I wish it ends now!!! My ‘desperate times’ post! Desperate not for the world going to the dogs, but well, this thankless life! Oh heck, who ever thought their life was thankful??!!! Oh, I forgot the parentheses and beautiful asterisk. Oh, after all, the world is ending; ‘let me be honest with myself’ post!!! So, when the world ends, surely the server where this WordPress is hosted would get destroyed? Would there be back ups for back ups? Or whatever? Will this post be lost in oblivion like us all? ‘My musings’ post and my ‘philosophical words of awe and wonder and thought’ post!!! Ah, ‘life is strange’ post and the ‘world lives on’ post!

That surely was a long post for December, huh? or perhaps multiple posts! Ia m catching on, you see..!

So, there!!! Maybe if I get to mark all those posts on the above image of the Mayan Calendar, I would still consider my writing blogger life successful in 2012!

Happy New Year guys! Come on, I don’t think it really ends in December 2012. Surely, world would not quit so soon!!!

Have a little hope! And share your hope 🙂 Let me know what are your blogging predictions for 2012?

A Span of two hours

11 Jul

So, here I am, after a long time, dabbling in my blogs again. This long hiatus was not because of dearth of things to write about; it basically was the way things affected me. Maybe this thing which you guys are going to read about affected me more than any other things in the recent past. So, here I go…

 The morning was a complete disaster, as always, but this morning was even more for a long list of reasons. My son’s school bus supposedly comes at 7:55 AM. And we have to leave home at around 7:45 AM to safely catch it. It was the second day of his school bus experience and it doesn’t speak positively on me as a mother if he misses it today, being just the second day. So, at 7 AM, my dear husband tried to wake us both. And suddenly I started hearing a shout that it was 7:10 AM.

 Oh, well, so we wake up and try to get ready. My son got one of his interesting moods just today. I call it interesting moods and not whims and fancies, because well, retrospectively when I think about it, it does seem to be interesting. He wanted daddy to get him ready for school. So, my dear husband, tried doing things for him. And he wanted a pair of trousers identical to his father. So, I searched and searched and got a blue cargos. But oh well, it dint have stripes on it, like his father’s had. So, we decided that his daddy should change his trousers to green to match Ashwin’s green cargos. But, little did we realize that it had to be the same shade of green and cargos and formal trousers had a huge deal of difference between them. Now, all these “interesting moods”, coupled with my lack of patience, and general irritation I had towards everyone and not being an early morning person, did little to look at things calmly.

 And my dear husband tried to put on a face that it was my entire fault. My fault that I went to bed late, my fault that I came back home from work late, my fault that I was exhausted so much. Oh, well, did u guys know, if you eat cabbages in abundance, you can avoid backaches. Backaches have nothing to do with sitting at work in an erect manner for 12 hours a day on a hard back chair. Backaches have everything to do with not eating cabbages. That’s my physician husband’s humble opinion. Oh, well, my irritation and anger were directed towards everything, including my own physical shortcomings, my apathy towards work, my boredom with the general nature of work, my lack of persuasive skills in making my son wear a decent outfit.

 Oh well, the morning was more than just a simple mere disaster. Now, I am making note that I should always purchase clothes for my husband and son in such a way that he looks like a miniature version of my dear husband on prowl. This won’t seem to be a easy job. Peter England and Allen Solly don’t make kid’s clothes, or do they? Maybe we should check out and probably request them if they don’t. lol… Should I shell out thousands of bucks on kid’s clothes too in coming years to come to make him appear like a miniature daddy??? Oh well, they dint say all these in the books about bringing up boys. Just my hard luck!

 So, well, I was brought out of my reverie by the banging of the door. My husband had left for work. Naturally, who will want to deal with a screaming kid when he is as late as he is to work, when all the blame has to rest on a staminaless lady(is it even a word? Maybe my physician husband would correct it later on when I forward this to him…).

 Amazingly, the screaming stopped, the interesting moods vanished. I was surprised beyond measure. My son started feeling the sense of urgency with which we had to leave home to catch the bus. No, it was no more to do with formal trousers which were blue in color and had black stripes on it. It was more of a basic sense of wearing some outfit so that the rest of the guys out there, don’t say “Shame, shame, where are your clothes?”. My son tried to hurry me up saying; we are going to miss the bus if we don’t hurry up. Now, I don’t believe this. And neither will anyone even if I try to explain that he stopped all his tantrums in a second. The object of his competition had left. He had no one to compete with now. Any clothes are fine now, as long as he gets to wear something. Now, my my, why does not my husband get to see this?!

 He had these looks that I was the cause and reason for all irritable things to happen at home. Now, on a retrospective note, I feel that he and his son are the cause of all whims and fancies to be happening and being encouraged. All boys have their father to copy from and imitate from and relate to. As long as it is only mom at home, he does not have to impress her, because she is aleready impressed with her darling son. How many psychological discoveries I have to make?! I am sure they are going to be interesting.

 So, off we go to the bus stop. Wait for about fifteen minutes there. I try to reason with him, that he doesn’t have to wear clothes like daddy because he is not yet a big boy.

 Now, another interesting thing which happened is, I received not a single phone call from this same dear husband to enquire if my son missed or caught the bus? If I went to work at time or not. It was as if he was angry with me for having woken up late, for my son’s tantrums. It was as if he was angry with me for coming home from late, for sleeping late, for being puny, for being staminaless, for not eating cabbages, could the list end here?

 Here I toil at work, I am emotionally and physically drained, I don’t get the rest I deserve. I was generally bitter with myself and bitter with the whole world. Everything and everyone were unfair.

 And my footwear was being unfair too. It had to be today for it to snap. So, I visited the local road-side cobbler. She looked like a middle aged woman with a toddler who was eating dirty biscuits and drinking tea from a dirty cup. Probably, bought from the road-side tea stall. I would not dream of giving tea to my preschooler, that too from a road side tea stall. I was initially angry with this woman who was oblivious of her toddler picking up the biscuits which had fallen down on a few dirty worn out sandals. I shelled about Rs.5. for getting my footwear mended. And it struck me, where did she have the money to get him a decent meal? What right I had to be angry with her? What right I had to feel that the whole world is unfair with me? What right I had to get irritated with the wrong doings of others?

 Well, God has been kind to me. He gave me parents who had enough money to educate me. He gave me a husband who is broad minded enough to feel that a woman can go out and work if she wants to. Oh well, he also feels my first stop should be at the kitchen, because he has mentioned more than once that the best way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach. What more subtle way to convey this point than this 😉 (On a lighter vein… because he is the best one can get…) lol.God has given me the capability to earn as much as I need, has given me a husband who can do the same, who can tend to his son by himself, who loves me more than he or me realizes. Well, God has given his share of goodies to me. And this had to be driven into me by the cobbler’s Down syndrome child.

Little did I think my sheer sense of irritation and frustration is going to end in this spiritual note. I am thankful it has.

 And I am here typing this away. And vowing that I am going to leave from work atleast early today and try to make my son happy. Hopefully my husband will understand that things at work cant be avoided, the way it is going to be like. Thank you God, in advance for bestowing an understanding husband. I am sure he is one, even though he acts like he is not.

 So, enlightenment can come in a span of two hours if it has to. I don’t promise that there wont be future instances of morning disasters, but atleast I would be in a state to realize that it will only be better from there. It is life and life goes on. And God is more than tolerant and patient with us with all faults and fallibles and still keeps bestowing. So, well, we try to emulate him and try to be more tolerant and march towards perfection.

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