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Loving the daughter I have not met!

8 Mar

I love babies. I love baby boys and baby girls in no definite order. I have a son and I love him the most. Obviously!

And our family is a small family with the two of us, (my husband and I) and our dear darling 7-year-old son. No, we do not have a daughter. Hey, I am not pregnant either, in case you are wondering. So, what is with the title of this article, you may think.

As much as we would love to have a daughter too, I should say, nature has other plans. The three of us is going to be our family and I would like to think we are complete and happy. Yes, we most definitely are.

Now nature decided to bestow upon us a daughter too, a daughter in a different way. I became an aunt to the most beautiful adorable baby girl in the whole world. Yes, that is the mommy (aunty) in me talking! This beautiful baby girl was born almost two months ago and I have not met her yet. And here I write an ode to her and about her.

The pictures I have seen make me want to meet her ‘once’.  Not just once. But at least once.

My niece holding her mother's fingers

My niece holding her mother’s fingers

Her eyes are fiery, like the tempest. Her forehead is broad and shines with intelligence. She has a lot of jet black hair. Her father wishes for her to have hair like mine, straight, soft and docile. But no sir! I do not want her or her hair to be soft and docile like me.

I would like to think of her as a go-getter of the things in the world she wants and aspires for. Cheeky and audacious, bold and vivacious, like all the things and more I was in my younger days.

I wish for her not to be the stereo type-casted woman of India, nor like certain modern-day woman with minimum ethics or morals, but for her to have a delicate balance and show the world what a true woman is to be.

This beautiful baby niece of mine was born and stays just 230 miles away (6 hours’ drive) from where we stay. But I haven’t met her for over two months due to certain personal glitches. Now you may ask, don’t you meet a niece, your own sibling’s child, because of a ‘glitch’? Well, that is an entirely different long story. It requires a separate post(ok, maybe a book) in itself. So, the long and short of it, we planned twice to go see her, and we had to cancel our trip both the times. And now here I whine about not having met her.

I most definitely have the sun and moon of my entire being, my darling son. But now, I also have a daughter, thanks to nature, in the form of my niece. My sibling’s child is my child too in some ways and it is the closest to my having my own daughter. And I have to thank nature (or God if you may call it so) for this gift.

But I hope beyond all the hope that someday I get to meet her, see her for real in person, hold her, feel those tiny palms and fingers which you can see in the picture, and cherish her.

Like I got the daughter which I was never destined to get, I know I will also get to meet her soon too even if fate has other plans.  (???!!!!)

Hey, isn’t it the International day of women today?

Divine Blessings, Ample Happiness, Best Wishes, Great Hopes, Spiritual Grace, Bounteous Joy and all the best of the Universe on this women’s day to the woman (who is yet a baby) and to all the other beautiful women of the world!

Isn’t it Kismet which has made me write about her, today, instead of all the other days, which in itself makes me feel an unusual sense of calm about this beautiful day of today.

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What’s in a name? Mine is Purnima.

18 Jun

Full Moon

The full moon – my name sake

Yes, what’s in a name? So, why all the secrecy and hush-hush while blogging? I call myself “The Alchemist.” It is almost a pen-name, err… blog-name. Am I worried about stalkers? I would like to think so that this blog has such a huge fan-following, but almost all my fans are either my schoolmates or college mates or babyfit friends or World Moms Blog friends, The Underground friends, Indian BF team, my ex-colleagues and well people from other online forums and from my own little real world. So, well, what the heck, you might ask.

Am I shy? No! I am not. I am not that extrovert you might know. Neither am I the shy introvert who hides behind drapes during parties. I am just ‘me’ though the ‘me’ is bound to change every few days being the scatter brain I am.

So, well, why the mystery? Maybe I would like to let you all think of me as an enigma? Ha! Oh, how I wish! But other than my name, you guys know so much about me that I am far from the enigma I would like to be! Blame it on the woman’s inherent nature of yakety yak (proof: This Blog)! So, well, maybe some trepidation (of what? I don’t know…) some hesitation (again, of what? I am not really sure though) and maybe some shyness (There, at last, that same word!).

So well, anyway, now I decided that I want to go global my name, ‘Purnima.’ Clap clap clap… (**please now some music and drums too**). It is actually a beautiful name and I love it. In Sanskrit it means the full moon. It also means “The complete woman.” I am proud to think I am both. Yes, the birth of my son 6 years ago, completed me, But the journey is still on. There is so much I have to do and accomplish in this parental voyage. Yet, I am a complete woman, well almost.

And the full moon! Oh, yes – the most beautiful, mystic, enigmatic object of the earthly skies. What other can it be other than the full moon? Which parent would not like to think their daughter to be as complete and beautiful as the full moon? Yes, my doting parents thought enough of me to name me after her. We, Indians like to think the moon is feminine. Beautiful, charming, attractive, bright and radiant – yes, definitely a lady! No doubt about it.

Buddhanath celebrations on Buddha Purnima in Nepal

Buddhanath celebrations on Buddha Purnima in Nepal

So, well, coming back to this point of me being named after the full moon, would you want to want to know why? Oh, the choice is not yours. Having read so much of this blog post, you are forced to read more of it. The reason is so simple. I was born on a full moon day. And not just any full moon. It was Buddha Purnima, the full moon night of Lord Buddha‘s birth anniversary. Yes, Lord Buddha and I share the same birthday. The already declared charming, Enigmatic, beautiful, bright, radiant, now also became spiritual and peaceful. Don’t you think so that the object of the heavenly skies can be comparable to the person typing away this post? Oh, do you hear my husband snickering? Yes, definitely, that horrible sound can be my husband’s only! Anyway, the truth remains the truth. I am all of that and more. And a writer too. (**Yes, more snickering!!!**) He thinks ‘writing’ is my pathetic excuse to shun my home-making duties and the cooking debacle. Well, let him think what he wills. And in any case, all sons love their mama’s cooking like my son. 😉

By the way, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Singapore, Cambodia, Thailand and few other Buddhist countries have declared a public holiday on Buddha Purnima (ahem… my birthday). Public Holiday!!! What???? Yes, Public Holiday!!!! I am honored to be in the same league (**Drum rolls please!!! Thank you 😉 **)

The point is, I have gone public with my name, Purnima. I almost typed, “The Purnima”. Ha ha, perhaps one day, I will be known with a “The.”

The Alchemist is now Purnima. But this blog remains “The Alchemist’s Blog,” because people whom I know, whom I do not, whom I have met, whom I have not, all know this micro miniscule part of the virtual world as “The Alchemist’s Blog”.

Enjoy the day – today, Buddha Purnima and the rest too!

Motherhood and being Cultured!

5 Nov

        

This post is dedicated to the one year Blogiversary of one of the most happening parenting communities, World Moms Blog.

I was asked to write about Motherhood relating to our Indian culture and link up with the World Moms Blog . In India I would say there are at at least 50 different cultures for every aspect. And the same and more apply to motherhood. Having said that, this post has nothing to do with any of the  specific 50 different cultures of India.

For me motherhood simply means worshipping my mother’s motherhood. I should say I have not much vocally appreciated her as much as I should be not only for bringing me up, but doing everything else and more for my son, her grandson.

Motherhood

Sculpture - "Motherhood" at St.Anne convent in northern Kentucky.

This is where it began. When I was pregnant I contacted Hepatitis-A, a viral infection and was down with jaundice. It was not specifically life threatening or problematic for the baby in womb (because of the placental barrier), but we all were so stressed mentally and emotionally. This was approximately during the 22nd week. I was working 12 hours a day, designing the supposedly love of my life, car electronics. During that period I was living, 350 miles away from home.

The gynecologist and gastroentrologist advised complete bed rest until the day of delivery. I was very upset hearing this. I pleaded, I coaxed, that I work at least after a month’s rest. I was feeling completely fit and fine. But for whatever reasons God chose, I was back at my parents’ home relaxing and enjoying all the remaining 5 to 6 months of pregnancy. I was eating home cooked food by the world’s greatest cook (mom), being pampered and cared and just plain killing time reading books, researching pregnancy and stuff over the internet. The DDH used to visit me over the weekends at my parents’ place. [**I have not really thanked him enough for letting me stay on at my parents’ place indefinitely**]. And life was benevolent indeed.  

And then, one fine day I delivered a healthy happy crying baby boy and all was fine again in this mama’s world.

And I went back to work when DDS was 6 months old.

No day care, said the DDH. No nannies. No nothing. I was devastated. Apparently the DDH was a great fan of attachment parenting, and well, neither did I have the heart to send him to a day care to strangers. I mean, yes, I know there are so many wonderful care centers and I am not being judgmental. Having said that, I just felt I needed my little boy to be with people he knew, he was biologically related to.

So, super woman aka my mom, aka my son’s grand mom stepped in to the rescue. She traveled 350 miles away from her home, stayed with us, away from her husband and her son and took care of DDS while I worked away ‘happily’ at the car electronics typing away software codes for the automatic power steering.

Now, my dad visited us during the weekend to be with his wife, my mom and with all of us, his family. And oh, my brother sacrificed being with his mom too, because he was just entering college, and needed her emotional support. But the neediest was the baby, so my mom devoted her entire time, energy and thoughts to baby. We stayed in this arrangement for at least 5 years when we decided I would quit work because mom had to go back home, for her own personal reasons.

But the point is, my mom put up with a 25-year-old, grown up, pregnant, moody, lazy, physically unwell woman (me) for half a year, an ignorant mom (me) for another half-year and then she stayed away from her family, her husband and her son for 5 full years. I can not really thank my father and brother enough for letting me have her fully. She did all this for her grandson. Her idea of motherhood which can not be defined in any words except by retelling this story is just my idea of motherhood.

Culture is also refinement, culture is also being civilized, culture, my father always says, is doing what is best and correct for the moment and living life the way, God would later say, Ah, I am proud of you, my child. Isnt that how culture must have evolved in any society?

So, I am blessed to have parents who are cultured and who tried their best to imbibe that in my brother and me.

And this post celebrates that woman, who is the best mother in the whole world.

Some day, I hope my son says that too.

 

This article is part of the World Moms Blog Link-up

This article is part of the World Moms Blog Link-up

Go ahead, click the above button and view all posts written by mothers all around the globe participating in the World Moms Blog link up! I encourage the reader to also participate by writing your own post under the topic, “Motherhood, culture and myself” and show your support for the most celebrated feeling, “motherhood” by ‘liking’ and commenting on my and all posts.

Quality, Quantity, Compromise and an Anniversary

4 Nov

I was speaking to my ex-project coordinator yesterday. Well, technically, not speaking, but chatting up on the virtual world! Something he said, stuck out from the conversation and that was, now you are earning quality money, writing.

Well, I actually earn only about less than ten percent of what I used to earn working as a software engineer, designing car electronics. I used to crib the whole day. But I cribbed at work, I cribbed at home, I even cribbed here at the blog.

my instruments :)Now, I quit for various reasons. Maybe if you want to know why, read this post later. So, now the extra income is missing. But we as a family are having a quality life. Quality care for my DDS, Quality care for DDH (though he never admits it), I mean I think of him at least eighteen times more often now, than I used to one year ago. So, isn’t that quality remembrance? And it is with fondness. (Ok, he won’t ever believe it, but anyway, there, I said it!) 

So, the point is, now I earn quality money, enjoying what I do, enjoying my work, admiring the product of my efforts, and actually loving it. I love what I write and I hope the readers do too. So, quality money (but well, less).

And a huge compromise it is! I can not really afford to not have the money. But there, I have gone through one year of existence without my income. I have learnt to be dependant on the DDH. I have learnt to be frugal to some extent(Ah, the DDH wont believe this either 😀 ). I have learnt to compromise on things and not feel bad about it.

I have learnt to live the purpose of my existence.

And happy one year anniversary to myself for making it. (Technically it is one year and one month, but you can all wish me anyway, because I am announcing it now… lol 🙂 )

 And thanks PKAdka, for reminding me of the memories 🙂 .

P.S: The irony of the image is that I wanted to symbolically say that one (the keyboard which I used as a software engineer) was my earlier cake winner and the other (pen as a writer) is my bread winner. But ah, well, in the digital age, gifted to us by ex-software engineers like me, I sadly use the keyboard now like earlier :(. Perhaps, later sometime, I would elucidate the joys of writing something using the pen :).

Photo credit to http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Keyboard_and_pen.JPG

CALLING ALL BLOGGERS!: Our “Blogiversary” Link Up Nov. 2, 3, and 4th! (Updated!)

1 Nov

CALLING ALL BLOGGERS!: Our “Blogiversary” Link Up Nov. 2, 3, and 4th! (Updated!).

The World Moms Blog is celebrating its first birthday. Come, be part of the blogiversary, write your own posts about motherhood and culture and link up those posts with us. Click the above link and read the details.

There are surprise gifts to be won too. And more than that, this is your best chance to be featured on the famous World Moms Blog website.

Spread the love; share what it means to be a mother.

Love,

The Alchemist!

SAHM vs. Working-Mom

10 Aug

INDIA: My Decision: SAHM vs. Working-Mom.

Please click the above link. Oh yes, that is my next post at WMB.

Ok, go ahead, read it and leave your comments there at WMB  🙂

Thanks guys!

My brush with fame

29 Jul

 

INDIA: Interview with The Alchemist.

The Alchemist and her son

The Alchemist and her son

So guys, I am almost a celebrity. Well, not really. But, my interview got published there on WorldMomsBlog.com.

It actually feels good. That is one place I really love. Writing about being a mother and the parenting sagas is really a wonderful way to keep up a memoir.

Getting interviewed by WorldMomsBlog sure was fun. Go ahead, click and read my interview.

You are welcome to leave your comments and thoughts on WorldMomsBlog site.

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