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BlogHer : A piece of my heart on an article – Down my memory lane of childhood memories

18 Mar

My son posing on his great great grandfather's chair. he was 2 years old and the chair is 100 years old!

My son posing on his great great grandfather’s chair. he was 2 years old and the chair is 100 years old!

http://www.blogher.com/creating-and-cherishing-childhood-memories-and-happiness

What is life made of?

Of beautiful memories, shared and cherished with our loved ones!

Of childhood stories which we tell and retell to our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Of memorabilia and junk collected over a generation, and in some cases if preserved over a century.

Well, I will tell you no more, go and click this link and read my entire article 🙂

It is after all my first article on BlogHer.

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Loving the daughter I have not met!

8 Mar

I love babies. I love baby boys and baby girls in no definite order. I have a son and I love him the most. Obviously!

And our family is a small family with the two of us, (my husband and I) and our dear darling 7-year-old son. No, we do not have a daughter. Hey, I am not pregnant either, in case you are wondering. So, what is with the title of this article, you may think.

As much as we would love to have a daughter too, I should say, nature has other plans. The three of us is going to be our family and I would like to think we are complete and happy. Yes, we most definitely are.

Now nature decided to bestow upon us a daughter too, a daughter in a different way. I became an aunt to the most beautiful adorable baby girl in the whole world. Yes, that is the mommy (aunty) in me talking! This beautiful baby girl was born almost two months ago and I have not met her yet. And here I write an ode to her and about her.

The pictures I have seen make me want to meet her ‘once’.  Not just once. But at least once.

My niece holding her mother's fingers

My niece holding her mother’s fingers

Her eyes are fiery, like the tempest. Her forehead is broad and shines with intelligence. She has a lot of jet black hair. Her father wishes for her to have hair like mine, straight, soft and docile. But no sir! I do not want her or her hair to be soft and docile like me.

I would like to think of her as a go-getter of the things in the world she wants and aspires for. Cheeky and audacious, bold and vivacious, like all the things and more I was in my younger days.

I wish for her not to be the stereo type-casted woman of India, nor like certain modern-day woman with minimum ethics or morals, but for her to have a delicate balance and show the world what a true woman is to be.

This beautiful baby niece of mine was born and stays just 230 miles away (6 hours’ drive) from where we stay. But I haven’t met her for over two months due to certain personal glitches. Now you may ask, don’t you meet a niece, your own sibling’s child, because of a ‘glitch’? Well, that is an entirely different long story. It requires a separate post(ok, maybe a book) in itself. So, the long and short of it, we planned twice to go see her, and we had to cancel our trip both the times. And now here I whine about not having met her.

I most definitely have the sun and moon of my entire being, my darling son. But now, I also have a daughter, thanks to nature, in the form of my niece. My sibling’s child is my child too in some ways and it is the closest to my having my own daughter. And I have to thank nature (or God if you may call it so) for this gift.

But I hope beyond all the hope that someday I get to meet her, see her for real in person, hold her, feel those tiny palms and fingers which you can see in the picture, and cherish her.

Like I got the daughter which I was never destined to get, I know I will also get to meet her soon too even if fate has other plans.  (???!!!!)

Hey, isn’t it the International day of women today?

Divine Blessings, Ample Happiness, Best Wishes, Great Hopes, Spiritual Grace, Bounteous Joy and all the best of the Universe on this women’s day to the woman (who is yet a baby) and to all the other beautiful women of the world!

Isn’t it Kismet which has made me write about her, today, instead of all the other days, which in itself makes me feel an unusual sense of calm about this beautiful day of today.

$5 saves 2 lives in Laos. Learn how!

8 Feb

What would you do today with INR 266 (US $5)? I came up with a list of things I would do if I had US 45. Check them out.

$5 saves 2 lives 

  • I would book two tickets at INOX for the movie Vishwaroopam
  • Or I would go to Express Avenue and splurge it on a T-shirt for DDH or a kurti for me.
  • I would buy a Bey-blade (those fancy electronic tops from Cartoon Network) for DDS.
  • Heck, I would just buy this week’s grocery – plain and simple if I was not in a mood for splurging away that money.
  • Maybe I would hire a domestic help and get all the window panes and grill doors dusted and cleaned and scrubbed.
  • I would even get my unstitched dress materials stitched into chudhidhars.

I know, I know, I can get so many things done with INR 266 (US $5). But what I chose to do today is, donate to CleanBirth.org.

This week World Moms Blog and CleanBirth.org have partnered to raise 1000 birthing kits. I am in. Are you?

How much difference will $5 make in your life? And how much difference will it make in a mother’s life, in the screams of her labour pain, in the throes of sweat and panic, lying on a bed of leaves in the middle of a dense jungle, just about to give birth to her darling baby.

I gave an extra hug to my little one thinking about a mother out there giving birth under such conditions in the village of Laos. What about you?

World Moms Blog and CleanBirth partnered to donate their FB status

World Moms Blog and CleanBirth partnered to donate their FB status

You can do a lot more things too. Check out this article on World Moms Blog. You can even donate your status on FaceBook and do a lot more. (http://www.worldmomsblog.com/2013/02/05/social-good-saves-lives-laos/)

If you are interested in donating to CleanBirth.org, please do so by clicking this CleanBirth.org. You would have made a great difference to some mama and baby out there.

If the world were to end tomorrow…

15 Dec

If the world were to end tomorrow … come on, the world is not going to end …

But in the remote chances that this were my last day … I would be very happy…  because …

The laundry yet to be folded and stashed away!

The laundry yet to be folded and stashed away!

I don’t have to cook, clean or do the laundry. Since recently, somehow I always seem to be laundering. I put the clothes in the machine, take them out, fold them, keep them inside and the  cycle repeats. I don’t know how I got into this vicious cycle of laundering repeatedly. And I am not even a new mom. So, good riddance to laundry, oh how I wish…. Check that pile I still have to fold and put away!

Is the space in the sink enough?

Is the space in the sink enough?

And you guys all know my apathy towards cooking. Ok, I made it public and now you all know it, if you didn’t earlier. But I am a dutiful wife, or at least I think so. And for the records, my husband is snickering at that statement. Ah, so, well, cooking – the famous sustenance which makes me stay alive. Well, eating makes you stay alive. But for that, someone has to cook, right?! And a stay-at-home mom cannot claim to not have time to cook, can she? If only, the world ends tomorrow, I can be rid of this chore! Hmmpphh!!! Oh well, if someone cooks for me at least once a month, I will take up cooking. And by someone cooking for me, I don’t mean eating out. I mean, someone cooking (read it as husband) once a month(only once in 30 days). Is it too much to ask? I know… I know… All those hubbies reading this, are going to say, ‘what a bad influence for my wife’!!! I did not even mention cleaning up the dirty dishes!! The picture suffices.

Toys (aka junk) which could be dumped in various cartons and ideally banned from a sensible household.

Toys (aka junk) which could be dumped in various cartons but ideally is supposed to be banned from a sensible household.

And then after good riddance from laundering and cooking, I would also like some respite from cleaning and tidying up the house forever. I don’t think this needs any explanation at all. Does anyone want to see how my son’s room look like? Do you think my frail body can survive another attempt at tidying up and decluttering???

lol!!! serves us right, to get freaked out for everything..!!!

lol!!! serves us right, to get freaked out for everything..!!!

I cannot imagine the world coming to an end, because I want my son to grow up, live his life, do something with it, find its purpose, have a goal, work towards it, have a family, be happy, have children of his own and generally enjoy and be in joy. He needs to find his zest for life. This alive existence would all be a waste, if not. I would want him to be happy and jolly and whatever else he wants to be. Can the world end without he experiencing his existence? Nay!

I have more pressing problems! I have to create enough room in my cluttered home, for 3 bodies to move, habitate and hibernate without getting hurt !!!

I have more pressing problems! I have to create enough room in my cluttered home, for 3 bodies to move, habitate and hibernate without getting hurt !!!

Well, I really don’t think the world is going to end tomorrow, because God, if he were a male God, would not be so kind to give a woman respite from so many of the above mentioned things. The male-God would want my inner domestic goddess to rise forth and shine and be the goddess she was meant to be. And God, if she is a woman, will not be so hard-hearted to end the world as well, without a mother realising her dreams of her son’s purposeful and happy and joyful existence.

So, coming to the end of this world, … err… the end of this post… If at all the world ends tomorrow, I don’t have to do anything. Oh, how much an over-worked, stressed out mother would understand that! My inner domestic goddess can just vegetate! Ahhh!

This is part of a link-up. Today World Moms at World Moms Blog are talking about what they would do in case the world ended tomorrow. Come, check it out!

http://www.worldmomsblog.com/2012/12/15/saturday-sidebar-if-the-world-were-to-end-tomorrow/

My article @ Huffington Post!

6 Sep

My article got published on The Huffington post under Global Maternal health and Global Motherhood. Check it out here. It is called Global Motherhood: Awareness and Access to Information Can Help Prevent Disease. Go ahead, click it, read it!

Would love to know your feedback/comments/tips/suggestions either by mail or as comments there and here.

Babies that become man and woman and mommy and daddy

8 Aug

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...

Newborn baby.

“This is your baby”, says the doc. Mommy looks at her baby with awe, love and joy. Nothing can ever describe her feeling. She feels a lot of emotions. It is HER baby. Nine months of HER labour. HER joy. She touches the baby. The baby squirms. Baby cries. Baby blinks. Moments of awe, moments of joy, moments of BLISS.

Mommy spends at least twenty years of her life bringing up baby. She bathes it, feeds it, changes diapers, cleans poos and pees, teaches A,B,C, gets frustrated during tantrums, calms back, calms down baby too, cleans spits from the entire carpet, scrubs the house, some even work at work(office) in the midst of all this and manage to earn decent money.

And the baby keeps growing. Keeps learning. Keeps loving mom. Mommy gets rewards too. Hugs, kisses, milestones, first crushes, baby’s achievements at school, and she witnesses scores of such once in a lifetime things. Mommy is happy. Mommy is proud. Mommy’s life is made. Baby becomes boy (or girl), and then man(or woman) and life starts happening for our baby (man/woman) now.

Mommy looks up at baby nowadays. How nicely he (she) dresses, how smart he (she) is, how great life can be for baby now. Mommy feels blessed to have such a wonderful man (woman) for her as baby.

And then things change.

No, this post is not being pessimistic. It just puts things in perspective.

So, now baby gets married. Baby has babies of his (her) own. Sometimes relationships are just great as it was when our original baby was born. But sometimes it is not. Those sad times are more often than not.

Fly me higher...!!!

Fly me higher…!!!

Mommy-son (daughter) relationships cracks. Why? Expectations happen; from mommy’s side, and sometimes from children’s side. And then each one does not deliver what is expected. Disappointments are many. Bitterness sets in after a few disappointments.

So, I ask the mommy, why expect?

Mommy says, “Why not?”

“I mean it is your baby. You cared for it. Now baby has grown up. It has wings. It is flying away to create a brood of its own. Now you should not expect baby to hang around.”

Mommy says, “But how can I not? It is all that I have. My whole life was devoted to this. I won’t say sacrificed, but I have nothing else left with me.”

And then I say again, “But baby has lot more to do in life. It has so much to look for in this world. It wants to stretch out its wings. It wants to fly high. It wants to soar.”

Mommy nods. She understands. She knows. But she still wants baby. She is silently pining away. Sometimes she throws tantrums like baby used to do in younger days. But mommy definitely understands that baby needs the world, not the nest.

The babies are now the prime of this world. It needs to go out and create freshness and brightness in this world. It needs to recreate the whole world in its own way. It needs to know life. After all mommies had the same to do, right? They discovered their worlds, created their babies, chose their lives, and dedicated it for their babies, right?

So, mommy says, “Yes, but I know how my mommy felt now. And I understand what relationships are made of.”

I nod understandingly. But something was amiss and I am trying hard to cling onto it, grasp it.

Mommy, baby, life, wings, flight, empty nest, wide world, man, woman, progeny!!! Things were happening too fast.

Oh, wait a minute, what happened? Imagine the tenderness and helplessness of the baby when it first arrived into this world. Imagine the baby as soon as it is born with all the goo, trying hard to comprehend this world. Imagine the baby trying to lactate with mommy. Imagine mommy feeding baby. Imagine mommy holding baby’s hands and helping him take first few steps. Imagine mommy teaching baby stuff about the world. Imagine mommy wiping tears of frustration when baby’s first crush moved on. Imagine mommy doing this and that and stuff.

What happened to the mommy’s heart? Her only wish was for baby to excel in everything. Now why does she want the empty old nest to be filled with the baby who does not fit in it anymore? Why does she not allow the baby to fly away and make a bigger stronger and more beautiful nest?

Now all you strong men and women out there, do not smile and nod and before forwarding this to your mama and papa, think how much mommy sacrificed everything to be with you. Imagine mommy’s sleepless nights when you wanted nothing but to only nurse for weeks and months in a row. Imagine mommy always calling in sick for work. Imagine calling in late for work on all days for at least a week when you were sick. Imagine mommy cancelling holiday plans because baby won’t fit in for this holiday. Imagine mommy forfeiting promotions because it involved more work and more time. Imagine some mommies quitting work altogether to be with babies. Imagine twenty years of mommy’s thoughts, actions, life and breath revolving only around baby. But baby deserts her after twenty years.

Why oh why? Why doesn’t baby understand mommy? Why doesn’t mommy let baby go either? Why does the relationship fall out?

The most sacred of all relationships, the one between mommy and baby should never go stale. But why does it fail, at least in 50% of the cases? All relationships, especially this one, is based on love. And then some trust and a little respect. Respect baby’s needs to fly away. Trust the baby, your baby, to love you, remember you, and come back to you in your most needed hour. But for now, let baby fly.

And you baby, understand mommy’s need to feel loved, cherished and protected. After all, all her life was spent for you. She needs some hold onto life and that is mostly you. Be sensitive.

Why oh, why such things happen? So complex to understand the myriad emotions, feelings, expectations, needs, desires between people. Go beyond it all. Look up to each other. Respect each other. Respect the needs of each one. Do not let selfishness come in the way.  Let the other flower out. Un-flowered buds wither away.

Garden flower

Teach the other to let go. Teach the other to seek out too.

Teach each one to love. Teach each one to detach too.

Help the other to breed. Help them fly way away too.

Love. And believe in your loved ones to love you back.

And trust. And Respect.  And let go. For, know that they will come back.

Thank you Geetha, for inspiring me to write this piece.

INDIA: Praying for rain – WMB post

20 Jun

INDIA: Praying for rain.

I am over at World Moms Blog today talking about Chennai, its hot sultry weather, what the heat did to my son, the power cuts and a secret… Hush hush. Do you know why we changed the time, the post goes live on World Moms Blog? It has to do with our very own singara Chennai. Click the link, “Praying for rain” and read about it.

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