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BlogHer : A piece of my heart on an article – Down my memory lane of childhood memories

18 Mar

My son posing on his great great grandfather's chair. he was 2 years old and the chair is 100 years old!

My son posing on his great great grandfather’s chair. he was 2 years old and the chair is 100 years old!

http://www.blogher.com/creating-and-cherishing-childhood-memories-and-happiness

What is life made of?

Of beautiful memories, shared and cherished with our loved ones!

Of childhood stories which we tell and retell to our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Of memorabilia and junk collected over a generation, and in some cases if preserved over a century.

Well, I will tell you no more, go and click this link and read my entire article 🙂

It is after all my first article on BlogHer.

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INDIA: The Key to Successful Relationships

16 Mar

My latest post at World Moms Blog talks about the key to successful relationships.

Check it out here – http://www.worldmomsblog.com/2013/03/11/india-key-successful-relationships/

Loving the daughter I have not met!

8 Mar

I love babies. I love baby boys and baby girls in no definite order. I have a son and I love him the most. Obviously!

And our family is a small family with the two of us, (my husband and I) and our dear darling 7-year-old son. No, we do not have a daughter. Hey, I am not pregnant either, in case you are wondering. So, what is with the title of this article, you may think.

As much as we would love to have a daughter too, I should say, nature has other plans. The three of us is going to be our family and I would like to think we are complete and happy. Yes, we most definitely are.

Now nature decided to bestow upon us a daughter too, a daughter in a different way. I became an aunt to the most beautiful adorable baby girl in the whole world. Yes, that is the mommy (aunty) in me talking! This beautiful baby girl was born almost two months ago and I have not met her yet. And here I write an ode to her and about her.

The pictures I have seen make me want to meet her ‘once’.  Not just once. But at least once.

My niece holding her mother's fingers

My niece holding her mother’s fingers

Her eyes are fiery, like the tempest. Her forehead is broad and shines with intelligence. She has a lot of jet black hair. Her father wishes for her to have hair like mine, straight, soft and docile. But no sir! I do not want her or her hair to be soft and docile like me.

I would like to think of her as a go-getter of the things in the world she wants and aspires for. Cheeky and audacious, bold and vivacious, like all the things and more I was in my younger days.

I wish for her not to be the stereo type-casted woman of India, nor like certain modern-day woman with minimum ethics or morals, but for her to have a delicate balance and show the world what a true woman is to be.

This beautiful baby niece of mine was born and stays just 230 miles away (6 hours’ drive) from where we stay. But I haven’t met her for over two months due to certain personal glitches. Now you may ask, don’t you meet a niece, your own sibling’s child, because of a ‘glitch’? Well, that is an entirely different long story. It requires a separate post(ok, maybe a book) in itself. So, the long and short of it, we planned twice to go see her, and we had to cancel our trip both the times. And now here I whine about not having met her.

I most definitely have the sun and moon of my entire being, my darling son. But now, I also have a daughter, thanks to nature, in the form of my niece. My sibling’s child is my child too in some ways and it is the closest to my having my own daughter. And I have to thank nature (or God if you may call it so) for this gift.

But I hope beyond all the hope that someday I get to meet her, see her for real in person, hold her, feel those tiny palms and fingers which you can see in the picture, and cherish her.

Like I got the daughter which I was never destined to get, I know I will also get to meet her soon too even if fate has other plans.  (???!!!!)

Hey, isn’t it the International day of women today?

Divine Blessings, Ample Happiness, Best Wishes, Great Hopes, Spiritual Grace, Bounteous Joy and all the best of the Universe on this women’s day to the woman (who is yet a baby) and to all the other beautiful women of the world!

Isn’t it Kismet which has made me write about her, today, instead of all the other days, which in itself makes me feel an unusual sense of calm about this beautiful day of today.

Love, peace, unity on New Year 2013

28 Dec

My latest article which got published on Huffington Post is about spreading Love, Peace, Unity in coming New Year 2013. The link to it is here.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/purnima-ramakrishnan/spreading-love-peace-and-unity-this-new-year_b_2361990.html

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013 FOLKS !!!

If the world were to end tomorrow…

15 Dec

If the world were to end tomorrow … come on, the world is not going to end …

But in the remote chances that this were my last day … I would be very happy…  because …

The laundry yet to be folded and stashed away!

The laundry yet to be folded and stashed away!

I don’t have to cook, clean or do the laundry. Since recently, somehow I always seem to be laundering. I put the clothes in the machine, take them out, fold them, keep them inside and the  cycle repeats. I don’t know how I got into this vicious cycle of laundering repeatedly. And I am not even a new mom. So, good riddance to laundry, oh how I wish…. Check that pile I still have to fold and put away!

Is the space in the sink enough?

Is the space in the sink enough?

And you guys all know my apathy towards cooking. Ok, I made it public and now you all know it, if you didn’t earlier. But I am a dutiful wife, or at least I think so. And for the records, my husband is snickering at that statement. Ah, so, well, cooking – the famous sustenance which makes me stay alive. Well, eating makes you stay alive. But for that, someone has to cook, right?! And a stay-at-home mom cannot claim to not have time to cook, can she? If only, the world ends tomorrow, I can be rid of this chore! Hmmpphh!!! Oh well, if someone cooks for me at least once a month, I will take up cooking. And by someone cooking for me, I don’t mean eating out. I mean, someone cooking (read it as husband) once a month(only once in 30 days). Is it too much to ask? I know… I know… All those hubbies reading this, are going to say, ‘what a bad influence for my wife’!!! I did not even mention cleaning up the dirty dishes!! The picture suffices.

Toys (aka junk) which could be dumped in various cartons and ideally banned from a sensible household.

Toys (aka junk) which could be dumped in various cartons but ideally is supposed to be banned from a sensible household.

And then after good riddance from laundering and cooking, I would also like some respite from cleaning and tidying up the house forever. I don’t think this needs any explanation at all. Does anyone want to see how my son’s room look like? Do you think my frail body can survive another attempt at tidying up and decluttering???

lol!!! serves us right, to get freaked out for everything..!!!

lol!!! serves us right, to get freaked out for everything..!!!

I cannot imagine the world coming to an end, because I want my son to grow up, live his life, do something with it, find its purpose, have a goal, work towards it, have a family, be happy, have children of his own and generally enjoy and be in joy. He needs to find his zest for life. This alive existence would all be a waste, if not. I would want him to be happy and jolly and whatever else he wants to be. Can the world end without he experiencing his existence? Nay!

I have more pressing problems! I have to create enough room in my cluttered home, for 3 bodies to move, habitate and hibernate without getting hurt !!!

I have more pressing problems! I have to create enough room in my cluttered home, for 3 bodies to move, habitate and hibernate without getting hurt !!!

Well, I really don’t think the world is going to end tomorrow, because God, if he were a male God, would not be so kind to give a woman respite from so many of the above mentioned things. The male-God would want my inner domestic goddess to rise forth and shine and be the goddess she was meant to be. And God, if she is a woman, will not be so hard-hearted to end the world as well, without a mother realising her dreams of her son’s purposeful and happy and joyful existence.

So, coming to the end of this world, … err… the end of this post… If at all the world ends tomorrow, I don’t have to do anything. Oh, how much an over-worked, stressed out mother would understand that! My inner domestic goddess can just vegetate! Ahhh!

This is part of a link-up. Today World Moms at World Moms Blog are talking about what they would do in case the world ended tomorrow. Come, check it out!

http://www.worldmomsblog.com/2012/12/15/saturday-sidebar-if-the-world-were-to-end-tomorrow/

Guest Post: Why You Should Schedule Pauses in Your Life

4 Sep

Ruth Wong from The Mommy Cafe is visiting us today and she think all mothers should take those much-needed pauses for respite. Yes, I definitely agree too. Read what Ruth writes…

Woman relaxing in hammock

Woman relaxing in hammock

Do words like stressed, overwhelmed and pressured describe how you are feeling today? Or perhaps you’re feeling lost in life and not sure what’s the next step. Then it’s time you press that pause button on your life and take a real break.A while ago, I was experiencing a huge sense of being overwhelmed, to the point of almost burning out. Thankfully, I managed to take a break before I potentially breakdown.

While it wasn’t a deliberate pause I made, it helped me realise just how important it is to regularly schedule pauses in our lives.

Why do you need a pause?

1. To take stock of your life.

When we are caught up in the humdrum of daily living, most of us don’t stop to reflect on the meaning of what we are doing, where we are headed, what are the issues hindering our progress.

A pause gives you the time and space to do all that. It helps you examine your priorities and see if the goals you are working on still align with your vision. It restores perspective and give you renewed sense of empowerment that comes from gaining greater clarity and focus in life.

2. To refresh and replenish your body, mind and soul.

We are humans, we can’t go on and on without a good rest. We need rest to prevent us from burning out or from developing health problems that arise from a stressful life.

However, you need a pause to not only rejuvenate your body but clear out your mind and soul, and restore you with a renewed sense of purpose and motivation. That happens when you have time to sit down and examine issues that are important to your life, discover and eliminate the time stealers, ask deep questions about your passions and what you are doing to achieve them.

It’s also a time to nourish your body, mind and soul – by eating healthy, attending to your needs, giving yourself more love, and filling your mind with positive thoughts and flushing out the negative.

3. To achieve more in life.

When you are clear about your goals and are in the right physical and mental state, you will naturally be empowered to achieve more in life.  It’s like being in a game of shooting. You can’t shoot not knowing what your target is. But once you know what to aim for, even if you don’t shoot as well initially, you can hone your skills and achieve the perfect score eventually.

How to get the most out of a pause?

So now that you’ve decided to schedule a pause in your life, how then, can you get the most out of it?

1. Plan how long you want your pause to be.

Do you want half a day, a day or maybe a weekend or longer? After you have decided on the time frame, think about what you want to achieve – do you want to reflect on certain issues, work on career goals, have a good rest, or spend quality time with someone? Knowing exactly what you want to achieve during the break helps you to be focused and not end up squandering your time away.

2. Disconnect from the external and plugin to yourself.

Disconnect from the internet, your smart phone and shut out the white noise. It’s a time to tune in to yourself.

I believe for many of us, we don’t listen to our inner self as we go about our busy lives, or either that, it gets drowned out by all the noises around us. However, when you think about it, much of our unhappiness arises from being disconnected with who we are and what we truly want. So let’s tune in and listen to what’s within.

3. Create a proper space for reflection.

Find a place that offers quietness and peace to facilitate the process of thinking and reflecting.

It can be a space somewhere in your home, or it could be at the garden or park, or even in a quiet café. You may like to also make this your regular reflection spot so that each time you go there, you get into the mood for quiet reflections quickly.

4. Eliminate the clutter.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, lack focus or simply not sure what to do with your life, chances are there’s clutter somewhere in the house. Often, the clutter can also be in the form of mental cobwebs. So make it a part of your pause ritual to get down to some decluttering and you’ll be amazed at the results.

The goal of the decluttering is to remove things and retain only that which is essential to you, nurtures you and supports you in your goals. This process not only helps you get clear on what’s important to you, it will allow you to make space for the new to enter your life, it could be a new job, a new project or a new relationship – but it will happen.

I experience that all the time when I do a major decluttering – new projects appear out of the blue, cheques for payments that have been delayed for a while comes in. Surprise gifts from people.

Photo credit to FreeDigitialPhotos.net

Are you ready for a pause now? You will soon discover the beauty and magic a pause brings to your life!

Ruth is from Singapore and she met Purnima at World Moms Blog. They were together in Social Media coordinating at WMB for sometime and that is when they grew close to each other. Ruth writes at The Mommy Cafe

 

Guest Post: Confessions of an IT professional’s wife

2 Sep

Sreelatha is married to an IT professional. And she talks about the YAYs and NAYs that it accompanies. Oh, did I tell you I was an IT pro myself before I started this blog?

Sreelatha's family

Sreelatha’s family

Being the wife of an IT professional (which I am sure at least 40% of the women are) comes with its own pros and cons. When I got the marriage proposal, it seemed to me and my folks as the most lucrative one owing to the fact that the boy works for one of the big IT firms located in the silicon valley of India (we like to call it that way). The cherry on the cake was the travel that one gets to take around the different continents of the world. So as any smart girl in my position would have done I grabbed the opportunity and married my man. So that was all in the outset but what really goes in is like this – I am sure we women keep hearing this saying that When you marry a man you are actually marrying the whole family but here’s the new thing – When you’re marrying an IT professional you are marrying his job as well.

Let me explain. For one if you are an IT professional too then you are spared because when you’re husband talks to you about how his day went, he is going to be using those big IT words like Data center transformation, virtualization, private cloud (what??) so on and so forth. But for someone like me who has absolutely no connection to IT whatsoever, all these words sounds like ‘Blah, Blah and Blah Blah.’ Oh but you dare not show it on your face because you’re husband probably has had a really stressful day and as a good wife you are supposed to lend an ear to all that he says.

Did I mention to you that he has another wife too, no make that two, his laptop and blackberry? I would consider myself the third one because he literally spends the whole day with his blackberry and the laptop. When he comes back from work you will most probably hear these words –‘ I have two calls back to back today’, ‘got this really important client meet tomorrow so I need to leave very early.’

And one of those days you may also hear something like this ‘Looks like we may have to travel pretty soon, there is a big assignment coming up.’ Now, never ask him how soon you have to leave because you don’t want to hear it. It most probably would be something like this – ‘Visa and stamping will take about 4 weeks. So most probably we’ll leave next month.’ When you hear this you’ll have mixed feelings, one you are excited about the travel; two, you are sick worried that all of a sudden you are going to be in a foreign land and if you have kids then you probably would have had a mild heart attack by then and thirdly you are already stressed out that you have to shut down the current house and start packing. The biggest challenge would be to keep mum about the whole thing. That part is the most difficult one. Your mom and mom-in-law would tell you that you should not blurt it out as it is very inauspicious. Chances are that the whole trip may get cancelled. More than the part being inauspicious, in reality you actually will never know that you are moving out of the country till you board your flight.

And that’s just the challenges that the wives face. Now don’t even let me start on the how an IT professional’s career affects his and his in-laws life as well. A word of caution to all the parents of the soon to be bride of an IT groom. Make sure that you have your passports ready. Your daughter will soon move away to the states or to the kingdom or to some euro destination, the next thing will be that you may have visit her for 6 months because your daughter is pregnant and they will want the child to be born in that country as the medical facilities are better there (Don’t be surprised by this. Once your daughter starts to live there, no place compares to it not even India where she was born and brought up). The same applies to the boy’s parents because once the girl’s parents are back its time for them to get there and get on with their duties. So the other day I met this aunty in our apartment  building and asked her where she was all this while and guess what she says.

But all said and done, today IT professionals are the most sort after grooms for Tambram girls and every tambram boy works for IT behemoths. We embraced this life because we know that this is how it is going to be. On a serious note I want to finish this whole list of confessions by saying that we know how hard our husbands work and as a wife it becomes imperative that we support and stand by whatever they do. And promise that we will continue to board the flight to wherever they want us to go, learn any foreign languages, get used to the fact that laptops and blackberries are not only part of their lives but ours too.

Sreelatha is Purnima’s (The Alchemist’s) childhood friend. They went to the same school for twelve years together. They both resided in the same locality. They spent some holidays together. Sreelatha pursued commerce and management and married an IT professional, whereas Purnima pursued Engineering and married a physician. Life took them different paths and they met again through Facebook. They are glad the friendship is again taking off like never before. Check out more about her Cheelu (as she is affectionately called) here.

Tell us about any of your childhood friends and their spouse. Any confessions? Post it as a comment to this post or share it in your own blog and post the link here.

If you have not already done, please Like the Facebook page of The Alchemist’s Blog and share your love.

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